I’m tempted to go back to high school just to ask someone out to prom via pizza.
Surprise Mother’s Day breakfast pizza! An unexpected treat that burst out of a wood fire oven alongside my ma’s French toast.
More pics and analysis coming later.
Here’s me eating some Varasano’s pizza. The face I’m making in this photo is called “legit.” I’ll post more photos, tips and tricks from the owner, a review, and probably an interview with someone later. Get hyped! Pizza hyped!
The Highland in Atlanta, Georgia takes baked goods and breakfast to the next level. I’m still not sure I didn’t eat a meal 15 years in the future. On the menu, and pictured above, is their Rustic Italian. It’s the closest thing they had to pizza so I followed the code that all Pizza Journalist adhere by and ordered the dish.
The foundation: a herb injected piece of bread. Something a bit more elegant than garlic bread. There’s a lot of pressure on this bread as it has to support a cast of characters that wouldn’t normally be found together. It’s like a 15 year reunion where a group has come together after years of experience and evolution.
Eggs, Vermont cheddar, marinara sauce, mushrooms, spinach, and basil pile on top of the bread like long lost pals. They mingle together without care. The eggs begin to leak but no one notices in the chaos of ingredients.
If I closed my eyes while someone spooned this into my mouth I might be fooled into thinking I was eating Pizza Soup. It’s delicious and unorthodox and I’m glad it’s part of my body.
Also, I heard if everyone at your table finishes their meal Andre 3000 will come out from the back and congratulate you. We did not get to see Andre 3000.
You can read more about feeding babies pizza in my upcoming parenting novel: Feeding Pizza to Babies for Dummies.
Pizza dates never end like you’d want them to do. It seems to make sense on the bubbling surface, but underneath the romantic cheese is a crust that will cause bloat and indecision. After eating a fairly heavy pizza you’ll want to enter a pizza coma and touching your greasy lips to another will be the last thing on your agenda. This is exactly what happened to Snow White.
All I’m saying is that if you eat pizza and go to make out, exercise caution. Pizza is a very zen experience and if you try to introduce too many emotions at once tears may spill out of your face. If a romantic movie is playing in the background you can just kiss that spark goodbye.
Why the hell would I want to get dressed up and go to a stuffy restaurant ^
Is this a super hero? A villain? My new arch nemesis? A pizza thief? A pizza maker? A cross between a pizza and a frog? I need to know more!
The many faces of Pepperooney Marinara.
Going down the murky avenue of frozen pizzas. Will report back with results. Hey, at least my money will go to charity.
I haven’t listened to much of this record yet, but it has such classics as “If I knew You Were Coming I’d Have Baked You a Cake.” In this instance, “cake” must mean pizza. A pizza cake. Exactly the type of thing I want served at my funeral.
This guy on the front seems to enjoy pizza so much that he’s eaten most of it before the camera crew could get a slice. This is before unions so no one was allowed to intervene on the pizza slaughter. It’s a shame that there’s a piece of crust left behind. A pizza lover would eat the entire pizza, crust and all. Kind of makes me think this might just be a marketing ploy to sucker in pizza enthusiast.
I’ll make some pizza and listen to the record and write a review of the songs. Who knows, maybe it’ll inspire me to write my own pizza lyrics. Lyrics that, if listened to in reverse, reveal my deepest pizza secrets.
A celebratory slice of pizza from Fazio’s. This is the prize every spectator of the Pittsburgh Marathon deserves.
Spak Brothers Pizza is in the perfect location to grab a slice on the post-dinner jaunt around the block.
Today's Pizza Goals
I made some dough last using Jim Lahey’s no-knead recipe. It’s not the first time, but I prefer it over other methods because I don’t cake everything in the kitchen with flour. It’s all contained in a bowl the same way those “cookie in the jar” things were that we were forced to assemble in Home Ec class.
The dough I made last night and hid in the corner of the kitchen has been rising steadily. I think this morning it celebrates it’s twelfth hour on earth which is equivalent to 25 dough years. If my anthropological studies are correct, that means it’s about ready to take on the Pizza Trials to reach pizza maturity. It’ll have to pass the Trial by Oven, Trial by Toppings, and Trial by Belly. I’ll let you know how that goes.
The pizza’s goals are clear, but as the pizza’s guide I feel responsible for setting my own goals to ensure that there’s a successful blending of belly and pizza. What’s the point of waking up before noon if you’re not going to set goals?
Pizza Goals
- Don’t stretch the dough too thin. I try to get the most out of my dough which is foolish since the cost of making dough is about $1. Nothing but dividends, as they say in the biz. Tonight I’m going to use more dough to avoid pizza potholes and other disasters. Pizza potholes and other disasters is also the name of my autobiography.
- Simplicity! I ended up with twice as much fresh mozzarella as I needed. The lady at Penn Mac misheard me and she was bubbling over with sweetness that I didn’t have the heart to tell her there was a miscommunication. Despite the surplus, it’s important to keep the pizza light so that it doesn’t turn into a trash heap of ingredients hopelessly mixing with one another like one of those key parties from the 70’s.
- Not make a mess. When I’m done making pizza the kitchen is covered in flour, water, and cheese. Like a meth lab exploded. Except instead of a meth lab it’s a papermache lab. Not tonight! Simple and clean.
- Delicious. It’s gotta be delicious pizza.
This is the pendant I need in my kitchen for that extra morale boost when my dough doesn’t rise or when I find out that I’m out of yeast. You can find this Pizza Time pendant by Mikey Burton here.
Pizza from Nico’s Recovery Room
Grocery Store Pizza May Not be the Best Pizza
I was near Philidephia for a wedding and I popped into a few grocery stores for necessary supplies. I needed to stop at a PNC bank in one instance, and a few other times I needed beer. NEEDED.
Anywhere you go for groceries, you’re going to enter a Wegman’s. Wegman’s does a great job of expanding the idea of a grocery store. Traditionally, it should be a place to buy a banana for $.05. These days, it’s an event. They have a team of humans rolling sushi, eight kiosks specializing in a different type of edible material, and an entire restaurant. Yes, an already bloated grocery store has a restaurant inside of it. It’s a spectacle that I’ve seen replicated in Western Pennsylvania, but this is a bit out of control.
But pizza. Out of all the food they offer these grocery-giants are most proud of their pizza displays. The first obstacle encountered in any grocery store entered was a counter covered in pizza. Some pizzas were half-baked and ready for the taking. Other pizzas have yet to feel the hand of heat. Fresh pizza was also an option as most grocery stores contained pizza ovens as if the grocery store was built atop a pizza burial ground.
It goes beyond offering pizzas for suburbanites to place in their cart alongside bread, prescription pills, baby formula, and anything that’s buy one get one (BOGO). At the Wegman’s I visited they were offering families the opportunity to build their own pizza party. An admiral venture. I didn’t have the extra five dollars to take the class so I don’t know what happened. Maybe they taught the importance of having matching plates and napkins, or who at the party you serve pizza to first (whoever’s birthday is closest).
Slices of pizza are placed on podiums for the curious to admire. Will you tempt fate by eating pizza that’s been at room temperature longer than it’s taken you to snake your way through the store? I didn’t dare touch this pizza. I know, I’m a terrible pizza journalist. It looked overcooked and barren. Similar to the surface of Mars dried sponge. Major Tom would have taken a chance with this pizza. Coming back from outer space will give you that extra ounce of courage (Editor’s Note: as we’ve seen before, pizza that looks like the surface of an alien planet is a good thing. Thanks to loyal pizza adventurer John Carman for pointing that out).
Is having a pizza palace inside grocery stores typical for the east coast? Or did I happen to wander into the right spots at the right time? Any insight you might have would be great. In the mean time, I’ll look into getting a grant to fuel a study.
I was astonished to the lengths that the grocery stores on the east coast go to put a pizza in your cart. Wegman’s (one such grocery haven) had an entire display dedicated to tomato pie. I’ll write more on the practice later, but I’m both impressed and aghast.
This Wegman’s had a restaurant in it which kind of defeats the point of a grocery store.
Gotta eat them all! PIZZAMON.
Another one for @woozle / http://pizzawalkwithme.com/ #POKEPIZZAMON
Trying to forget about this margherita DOC is as difficult as trying to get oil and water to agree on anything.
This is a short film about my journey to Il Pizzaiolo in Mt.Lebanon, a suburb of Pittsburgh. This is one of the few places that serves DOC certified pizza in Pittsburgh, thus, a journey to this mecca was necessary sooner rather than later.